a hard decision

I don't know if anyone will see this any time soon, but its okay I will be relaying this to Dan at some point today to. I have come to a decision about the game and cast after last night. I can and will sit to record the last two gaming sessions, but I have nothing left creatively to bring to Nyxy. We are trying to wrap things up, and from a RPG stand point I do not see how her character will possibly develop in time for the battle.  She was fun to play and write, but sadly most of her best moments were written out on these boards. Especially towards the end where I thought something really cool would happen. I know there are a lot of factors behind the end of this game, I know that its all about having fun and the journey itself. But the last few weeks it has not been fun, its been show up and hope we get to game, look forward to maybe having an exciting session or at least getting somewhere in the adventure and barely moving a few feet literally in character. Last night for the first time I honestly felt like I just don't give a fuck anymore.  It's my fault for getting so into the game, it was a great way to relax after a long week of work but to me the writing is on the wall. Maybe I am just hurt and upset right now but I know I have nothing left to bring to this game. So I offer to sit and tape but I don't feel from my own gaming standards I would be able to enjoy Nyxy anymore. As it stands listening to the casts that lead up to this there is no way she is worthy of Golconda, I know its not my call but I take role play seriously. I do not want a major power like that put on her without in game worthiness, and I don't feel we will get that done in two sessions. So I wrote a story in her section and at this point I think the decision to take her out of the battle is the best one I can make.